Relationships can provide love, joy and the opportunity for healing old emotional wounds.
''Love means ... both the feeling and the behavior''
''Love means ... both the feeling and the behavior''
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Relationships – what makes them work?
True Energy
We have all experienced the feeling of chemistry between people.
To better understand this chemistry, I have discovered a subtle system of energies between individuals. These life-long energies generate a resonance, a harmonic frequency, which impacts the quality of the relationship at a very deep level.
I call these energy types Family (Parent / Child, Grandparent / Grandchild); Lover, Friend, Associate, Mirror, Counselor/Counselee, and Incidental.
By knowing the True Energy between people, I can describe its effect on the relationship. For example, a person who has friend energy with his boss will naturally have a much easier and closer relationship with her than with a co-worker who is associate energy.
For couples, the True Energy also helps in understanding their sexual dynamics and other expectations of the relationship.
For parents and children, the system can unravel issues of favorites, or situations where one parent is playing 2nd fiddle to the other parent/child relationship. Or in-law problems.
When we know how the True Energy sets up expectations and shapes reactions, we can deal with it more directly, resolve guilt, and develop greater satisfaction.
Click here for a description of the True Energy categories.
I can provide an Intuitive Diagnosis of your relationships, in person or over the phone.
True Love
In loving relationships the expectations we hold about "what love means" are often at a subconscious level. We just know what we are feeling and experiencing – good or bad.
In my research on relationships, I have found great disparity between what one person means when they say "I love you" – and what the other person expects when they hear those words.
The problem begins with the word itself. It helps to understand the difference between love – the noun and love – the verb.
Love – the Noun: This is the special feeling you have inside that makes you feel very wonderful, happy, intimate, trusting, full of light.
This feeling can be triggered by a person, a pet, a beautiful sight, a warm memory, etc.
Love – the Verb: This is the behavior you have toward a person or group when you are actively trying to help them feel loved by you, i.e., you are helping them feel pleasure, security, intimacy, trust, understanding, etc.
You don't have to feel love-the noun to act in loving ways. Charitable acts may be loving. A responsible parent may not feel love-the-noun for their child, but will (should) operate in a loving manner towards that child.
A person may act lovingly in order to prevent losing the feeling of love or attention of the other person. Or, a person may feel love-the noun – yet still act in unloving ways.
I can help you develop greater awareness of how LOVE is operating in your life, and how to be more loving to yourself – your authentic self.
Right Relationship
Right Relationship means that the relationship is meeting your expectations, and anger is resolved quickly, without hurt.
When your expectations about how a person should act in their role as a friend, parent, spouse, co-worker, boss, etc., are being met ... you are a happy camper. However, many things can get in the way.
- The person may not know or agree with your expectations.
- The person may be irresponsible in their role.
- The True Energy between you and that person may not fit the role very well, thus causing continual irritation or confusion.
First, I help you acknowledge the emotions that are being stirred up. This will give some good clues as to the true source of the issues.
Then, we determine the True Energy of the relationship. And we get clear about the expectations you have of that person. We need to know:
Have they been shared?
Is there agreement, or not?
Are they realistic for the circumstances?
What will or can you do to defend them?
We determine your intent for this relationship and where you want to go with it. The three primary options are:
- Survive – just keep on playing out the issues;
- Cope – understand the issues, work to add love, avoid pain;
- Transform – use the current issues as a gateway to healing and transforming the relationship.
See our Services for consultation options.